I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
