I wish I could teleport
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
