I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
