You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
