someone threw a dead crab at me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
