That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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