Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
