I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize