that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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