she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
