is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
