its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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