Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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