I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
