P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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