feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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