sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize