Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
