You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
