she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
