UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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