i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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