I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
