he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
