you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
