at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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