are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
