At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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