I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
