lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
