my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
