alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
