alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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