you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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