the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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