that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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