Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
