she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
