You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
