I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
