Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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