I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
