i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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