I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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