I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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