Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She said her name was "party"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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