haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
