i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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