Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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