She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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