Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
