I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
