I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
