So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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