carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
