so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
