That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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