I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
