Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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