I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
