a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
