everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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